Smoke

smoke
Originally uploaded by equusignis

I love this...not sure if the guy is trying to blow smoke up the dog’s *** or the other way around. LMAO

This is accurate…

The following is taken from the blog of a man I consider to be my very best friend.  I think at some point in the past we knew each other and were great friends then.  At times we have had the same inclinations or thoughts from opposite sides of the country.  Besides other men in my family, he is the only man I have never been, nor ever will be, embarrassed to publicly or privately say “I Love You” to. 

I am at the cusp of the end of one chapter of my life and start a new one.  There is a sense of relief because at this point i feel so broken.  It is not that i am in pieces.  I am still in one piece but it doesn't feel like it is a healthy one piece.  So change needs to happen; where it will take me i do not know.  I only know I've slowly become someone i don't remember.  Maybe I'm schizo or have multiple personalities, i really don't think it is anything that exotic.  I've just lost something and i need to figure out what it is I've lost and why and how to replace it or regain it.  In any case, change is the only certain thing and I'm looking forward to it whatever it might be.

His name is Son Dao, and I truly believe our bond is the bond of brothers.  Here is the address of his blog that I lifted the above from.  http://itwillpassreally.blogspot.com/ 

p.s. Son if you’re reading this, I love ya bro.

The Better Parts of Me

Why is it that when we are deeply in love with someone (you know the kind; love burning as brightly as the sun and so deeply felt that it overpowers you and feels like it could burn a hole in your heart) that the better parts of you tend to naturally pop their heads up out of hiding, and the winter goes away.  Joys are deeper, laughs are easier, tears flow sometimes from the seemingly most idiotic things (would you believe an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?), and kindness takes over your actions against your will. 

Personally I don’t understand it, even though I’ve had the luck to experience it twice in my life.  Life seemed full of endless possibilities and no mountain couldn’t be jumped in two bounds, if not one.  I wasn’t superman, but had a feeling while I was in love that I could overcome anything, even my reckless past.

Perhaps it was the heartache felt when it all came crashing down and the world seemed a little uglier than when it began.  That bright burning sun turned dark and clouds formed to fuel the tears of my pain, and later my frustration and rage. 

To this day I can still acutely feel both times when the sun went away and my world became a little darker.  Have I bathed in it’s aftermath?  Has my chosen misery doomed me from ever regaining that kind of joy?  I pray not…